#69 Speaking Part 2 : Describe a place you visited that has been affected by pollution

Where is it

When you visited this place

What kind of pollution you saw there

And explain how this place was affected

Here, I would like to share my experience when I had a chance to visit Citarum's river. So, Citarum's river is famous as the most polluted river in Indonesia. This river is actually located in The province of West Java in Indonesia. It is about two hours of driving from Jakarta. 

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I visited this river in 2017 during my business trip. So, at that year, my team decided to conduct a research about this river because the situation in this river is getting worsen every year. Even though our government had allocated many budgets or money to improve /to enhance the quality of water in this river.

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So, I could remember clearly that the main major that caused the pollution in this river is the textile industries around its riverbank. So, I guess there are many textile industries around this river that had disembark their pollutions into this river. And also, there are many people who live around this Citarum's river, that throw away their garbage to the body of its river. So, in a nutshell, this river contains with a very high number of bacterias.

WKWKWK FATAL BANGET SALAHNYA, banyak nyaa :''''). Self correction :

1. Tidak konsisten ceritanya , tidak menggunakan pas simple tense di akhir paragraf. 
   
2. "So, at that year" akan lebih elok kalau langsung tanpa menggunakan preposisi 'at'. Yakni menjadi "So, that year"
3. "my team decided to conduct a research". Untuk kata benda research, collocation yang baik adalah menggunakan kata kerja "carry out". Contoh :  Dr Carter is carrying out research on early Christian art. The hospital is carrying out tests to find out what's wrong with her.
4. "the situation in this river is getting worsen". worsen adalah kata kerja. worsen [verb C1] to become worse or to make something become worse. Seharusnya gunakan kata worse [adjective] :comparative of bad : more unpleasant.
5. 'allocated many budgets/money", collocation yang tepat adalah allocated funds. "allocate capital/funds/money We need to allocate capital and resources more effectively."
   
6. "that had disembark their pollutions"  konteksnya salah banget :(. Kata kerja yang cocok topiknya adalah "dispose their wastes". Contoh : "The agency has put an end to new efforts to dispose of hazardous waste".
7.  "So, in a nutshell, this river contains..."REDUNDANCY antara So-In a nutshell-In conclusion-All and all, wkwk
8. this river contains with a very high .....preposisi tanpa 'with'. Raw vegetables contain more potassium than cooked ones. These biscuits contain oats.
9.  "throw away their garbage" lebih baik gunakan collocation yang tepat yakni "get rid of something : to remove something that you do not want any longer. Contoh kalimat :
   "We got rid of all the old furniture.""
10. Bacteria is already plural. Jangan tambah extra s yaa. "bacteria [noun] plural of bacterium" dan "phenomena plural of phenomenon"