Just Cannot wait for the next
Huaaa, finally 1 taon dah berlalu di SMA. Hikshikshiks, status ane yang awalnya “newbie” di SMANSA itu pun akhirnya berubaah jugaa menjadi “SMANSA(ER)” *maksa banget.
Tapi summpah, saya ga tahan lagi menjadi junior di SMA, beneran kerasa “senioritas” NYA. Pokokne, semuanya di dominate ama kakak kelas.
Yah, walo Cuma kelas 2, setidaknya saya bukan si NEWBIE. Ckckck, sepanjang hidup saya, baru di SMA ini lah saya mendapatkan pengalaman bully, DUA KALI lagi….Ckckck, thanks senior, for th
e VERY VERY AMAZING memories :D
Senior 1 : Oh, jadi kamu toh yang namanya SARAH AZZAHWA?
Ane : “I..i…iya kak.”
Senior 1 : Woi woi, ini loh yang dibilangin SERING NYOLOT”
Senior 2 : Oh, ini Toh? Dek, di sini gag usah NYOLOT ama KAKAK KELAS”
Senior : “KAMU PIKIR ini sekolah milik BAPAK k?”
Senior 3 : “Milik MBAH ka apa?
Ane : *nahan nangis, sumpaaah takut banget dah -_-
Kapan-kapan saya nyolot ya Kak? (perasaan sepanjang MOS, saya sudah menjadi anak yang pendiam dan super duper pasif)
Senior 2 : Halaaaah, pura2 lupak lagi ! INGEEET pake otak deek, ingeeet !”
Senior 1 : Ntah, Udah di kasih Tuhan Otak tu di PAKE DEEK, di pakeeee”
Ane : YA INI JUGA DI PAKE KAAAK, DIPIKIR SAYA MASUK SMA INI PAKE DUIT APAH,Senior 1,2,3 : Pokoknya, kalo ampe kakak denger ada senior laen complain, jangan harap liat sinar matahari besok !”
-SEKIAN-
Buat kaka senior yang tiba-tiba langsung datangin gw, lalu bentak2 disertai dengan menabok2 meja dihadapan gw, thanks a lot for the FUCKIN amazing experience….It’s really really help me to face my future :D
Yang pengalaman kedua ane simpen di dalam hati terkecil saya sendiri sajah. sumpah…. Yang kedua LEBIH EXTREME, LEBIH GANAS, LEBIH BOMBASTIS dan lebih lebih lainnya.
Ckckck, pas pengalam bully yang kedua
Ckckck, pas pengalam bully yang kedua
, saya lagi jauh dari orang tua, lagi menumpang di rumah orang, tinggal di kota orang.
No parents to talked, No bestfriends to support me :(
No parents to talked, No bestfriends to support me :(
Mana pas itu ditambah ane kena penyakit lagi, ckckck. Yang ngebully saya hamper 1 rombongan, yang netral Cuma 4 orang, dan yang berpihak kepada ane Cuma 1 orang, my only beloved brother. Gag tanggung tanggung banget dah bully nya, walo gag ad kontak fisik tapi, saya selalu di caci maki, baik secara terang2an di wajah saya sendiri, bahkan jika pun di belakang, mereka akan dengan sengaja MEMBESARKAN volume suara gosip2 dan cercaan mereka di belakang saya.
Please,LADY I’m not that deaf,-_-, and its hurt !
Bahkan bukan Cuma takut itu aja, ane juga jadi takut
buat daftar jadi anggota OSIS. Padahal banyak banget teman2 ane yang anggota OSIS yang ngedukung dan merekomendasikan ane jadi OSIS buat tahun depan. Tapi karena traumatis masa lalu ane, ane jadi beneran takut.
Ane udah bisa bayangin, bagaimana kondisi LDK kalo ane OSIS, pasti penuh penindasan, dan ane pasti jadi sasaran empuk para senior itu.
Semua teman ane udah bilang, mereka bakal ngedukung, lindungi and ngejamin ane ga bakal diapa-apain ane kalo di LDK. Mereka bilang, ane cocok banget buat OSIS and sia2 banget kalo ane ga masuk OSIS. Mereka juga bilang, kalo ane gini, terus menerus dibayang masa lalu, kapan bisa majunya? But sorry, I really can not….
Ane udah bisa bayangin, bagaimana kondisi LDK kalo ane OSIS, pasti penuh penindasan, dan ane pasti jadi sasaran empuk para senior itu.Semua teman ane udah bilang, mereka bakal ngedukung, lindungi and ngejamin ane ga bakal diapa-apain ane kalo di LDK. Mereka bilang, ane cocok banget buat OSIS and sia2 banget kalo ane ga masuk OSIS. Mereka juga bilang, kalo ane gini, terus menerus dibayang masa lalu, kapan bisa majunya? But sorry, I really can not….
Because all the hate of them on me it seems will never reach the end.
I swear to God I will never join that kind of journey anymore or anything that being involved by them
Karena itulah, jika sekolah mengadakan program baik itu study tour, atau apalah, saya yang paling antiiii. Tapi saya bukanlah pengecut yaah, yang bakalan mempengaruhi dan memberikan sugesti kepada orang sekeliling saya untuk ikut2an tidak mengikuti program ituu.
No,no, no. I am not kind of person !
Yah paling alesan klise aja, “wah, gag ad duitttt…”
Yah saya juga baru sadar, ikut acara gituan emang seru, gimana ga seru coba liburan bareng? Without no parents controlling us ? Dan jujur sajaa, saya sangat iri ketika saya melihat hasil jepretan perjalanan mereka nongol di home facebook saya, hhu, I wish I was there :(
Tapi saya juga baru sadar, kalo uang yang dibutuhkan untuk mengikuti acara gituan juga enggak sedikit loh. Emang sih, dibilangin pengalaman seumur hidup. Tapi saya Cuma ga mau ngebebanin orang tua saya lagi. Pertukaran pelajar ke Jogja kemaren cukuplah menjadi yang beban terakhir buat orang tua saya loh *hha gayamuuu.
Beneran tapi, belon uang buat saya jajannya disana.
Hhi, pokoknya saya telah belajar dari pengalaman. Saya ga akan mau membebani orang tua saya. It’s better for us if we can effort doing that by ourself. Yah maksudnya, mendingan kita jalan-jalan berkat hasil usaha kita sendiri, kerja keras kita sendiri. Seperti kita memenangkan suatu lomba, terus di kirim ke luar kota buat perwakilan, nah bukannya itu lebih baeeek.
Orang tua ga bakalan terbebani, malah jadi bangga. Ya iyalahl secara “ANAK SAYA ITU, YANG PERGI KE BLABLA ITU ANAK SAYA LOHH JEENG”.
Kan seneng plus bahagia kalo gitu ceritanya :)
saya baru kali ini ngerasain bagaimana rasanya di bully seumur hidup. Dan saya tidak mau lagi mengulanginya ataupun melakukannya sebagai ajang balas dendam. Pas SMP, saya emang pernah ngebully adek kelas, dan sekarang saya baru merasakannya betapa pahit, menyakitkan dan parahnya trauma yang ditimbulkan -.-
Saya mencoba berjanji kepada Tuhan dan saya sendiri sajalah, bahwa saya tidak akan menjadi senior yang seperti itu, tapi berusaha menjadi senior yang bisa menjadi teladan, disenangi guru2 juga disegani ama adek kelas. Kan keren toh pas ane lewat depan kelas 10, ntar ad yang bilangin “ITU LOOH, KAK SARAH AZZ YANG BAIK HATI, GAG SOMBONG, RAJIN MENANBUNG, PINTE, BLABLABLA”
Wakakakaka, sekiaaan :D
Anyway for closing this post, I got really great poem to be read in deviantart.com
dear bully.
by ~GemmaZ
dear bully,
it's just me; you know, that girl you bullied. remember? yeah, i bet you do.
i just wanted to tell you a few little things. about you, about me, and what you did.
you know, it's funny. i learned from everything you did to me. i really did.*kenaa bangeet :D
for example, i learned that i was strong. i was the strong one out of us two. you were weak; you bullied me to feel power, which was something you didn't have. you called me names, poked me, tripped me up, and hurt me just to feel some power and self respect. but that self respect, it wasn't earned. you deserve nothing.
i also learned that it wasn't my fault, and that being who i am is the best i can be. you may have made me feel insignificant, useless and a waste of space, but i'm not. you're the insignificant one. the useless one. and the huge waste of space. it was all your fault, and you know what: i'm glad all this happened now.
it's made me stronger. i know my weaknesses now, and i know i'm strong enough to go through everything you did, and survive. unlike you. are you living with the guilt now? are you regretting it all? being kicked out of school must be a bummer for you, especially with exams coming up, no? well, sucks for you.
i'm still not sure as to why you did everything you did, but you craved attention; i know that much. and i used to ask, why me? what did i do to him? was i really that annoying, stupid or ugly? but i wasn't, and it wasn't me.
so, i just wrote to say, thanks for being a complete dick. it made me grow in more ways than you could possibly imagine; whether that's down to your microscopic-sized brain, or your complete lack of an imagination, i don't know, but it's true. so thanks.
anyway, i'd better leave you to sit and regret all that you can. so, without further ado, i just wanna say, that i hope you fall down a hole somewhere. if that fails, i hope an alien abducts you and eats you for breakfast. well, i don't care what happens, just so long as i never see you again. have a nice life, dick.
yours, never,
gem.
p.s. you think you can get into your country's army? hmm, i'm sure they have height restrictions.
i'm guessing no midgets allowed.. yes, i'm talking about you.
Yah paling alesan klise aja, “wah, gag ad duitttt…”
Yah saya juga baru sadar, ikut acara gituan emang seru, gimana ga seru coba liburan bareng? Without no parents controlling us ? Dan jujur sajaa, saya sangat iri ketika saya melihat hasil jepretan perjalanan mereka nongol di home facebook saya, hhu, I wish I was there :(
Tapi saya juga baru sadar, kalo uang yang dibutuhkan untuk mengikuti acara gituan juga enggak sedikit loh. Emang sih, dibilangin pengalaman seumur hidup. Tapi saya Cuma ga mau ngebebanin orang tua saya lagi. Pertukaran pelajar ke Jogja kemaren cukuplah menjadi yang beban terakhir buat orang tua saya loh *hha gayamuuu.
Beneran tapi, belon uang buat saya jajannya disana.
Hhi, pokoknya saya telah belajar dari pengalaman. Saya ga akan mau membebani orang tua saya. It’s better for us if we can effort doing that by ourself. Yah maksudnya, mendingan kita jalan-jalan berkat hasil usaha kita sendiri, kerja keras kita sendiri. Seperti kita memenangkan suatu lomba, terus di kirim ke luar kota buat perwakilan, nah bukannya itu lebih baeeek.
Orang tua ga bakalan terbebani, malah jadi bangga. Ya iyalahl secara “ANAK SAYA ITU, YANG PERGI KE BLABLA ITU ANAK SAYA LOHH JEENG”.
Kan seneng plus bahagia kalo gitu ceritanya :)
saya baru kali ini ngerasain bagaimana rasanya di bully seumur hidup. Dan saya tidak mau lagi mengulanginya ataupun melakukannya sebagai ajang balas dendam. Pas SMP, saya emang pernah ngebully adek kelas, dan sekarang saya baru merasakannya betapa pahit, menyakitkan dan parahnya trauma yang ditimbulkan -.-
Saya mencoba berjanji kepada Tuhan dan saya sendiri sajalah, bahwa saya tidak akan menjadi senior yang seperti itu, tapi berusaha menjadi senior yang bisa menjadi teladan, disenangi guru2 juga disegani ama adek kelas. Kan keren toh pas ane lewat depan kelas 10, ntar ad yang bilangin “ITU LOOH, KAK SARAH AZZ YANG BAIK HATI, GAG SOMBONG, RAJIN MENANBUNG, PINTE, BLABLABLA”
Wakakakaka, sekiaaan :D
Anyway for closing this post, I got really great poem to be read in deviantart.com
dear bully.
by ~GemmaZ
dear bully,
it's just me; you know, that girl you bullied. remember? yeah, i bet you do.
i just wanted to tell you a few little things. about you, about me, and what you did.
you know, it's funny. i learned from everything you did to me. i really did.*kenaa bangeet :D
for example, i learned that i was strong. i was the strong one out of us two. you were weak; you bullied me to feel power, which was something you didn't have. you called me names, poked me, tripped me up, and hurt me just to feel some power and self respect. but that self respect, it wasn't earned. you deserve nothing.
i also learned that it wasn't my fault, and that being who i am is the best i can be. you may have made me feel insignificant, useless and a waste of space, but i'm not. you're the insignificant one. the useless one. and the huge waste of space. it was all your fault, and you know what: i'm glad all this happened now.
it's made me stronger. i know my weaknesses now, and i know i'm strong enough to go through everything you did, and survive. unlike you. are you living with the guilt now? are you regretting it all? being kicked out of school must be a bummer for you, especially with exams coming up, no? well, sucks for you.
i'm still not sure as to why you did everything you did, but you craved attention; i know that much. and i used to ask, why me? what did i do to him? was i really that annoying, stupid or ugly? but i wasn't, and it wasn't me.
so, i just wrote to say, thanks for being a complete dick. it made me grow in more ways than you could possibly imagine; whether that's down to your microscopic-sized brain, or your complete lack of an imagination, i don't know, but it's true. so thanks.
anyway, i'd better leave you to sit and regret all that you can. so, without further ado, i just wanna say, that i hope you fall down a hole somewhere. if that fails, i hope an alien abducts you and eats you for breakfast. well, i don't care what happens, just so long as i never see you again. have a nice life, dick.
yours, never,
gem.
p.s. you think you can get into your country's army? hmm, i'm sure they have height restrictions.
i'm guessing no midgets allowed.. yes, i'm talking about you.
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