Time to let go the wrong man

So, the story ends in this early September. Being dumped and being unwanted in 1.5years-old-relationship is feels like drowning and choking. Can you feel it? You feels being unwanted by a person you wanted the most :''''.

In the past week, it is a very hard time to accept the truth and deal with 'just being friends' . Like myself can not stop thinking of us, thinking of what's wrong, and what's is right. Many song  can describe how I feel exactly when you say you didn't want me anymore as a lover, as a boo, as your future wife, as the mother of your children and so on. We are just friends, and nothing more, and no such things in the world can change that.

My mother, my friends, my very bestfriends, the stranger , tell me. May be this is the end. Even you keep saying the curse word -Gue gatau zet-  everytime I ask you about the chance of us getting back together. It is not worth fighting for anymore, no. We both know It is not that worth to wait. You never want to go back to  and falling in me for the second time due to how many times I questioned your honesty, and so do I. I don't deserve for being your last choice when it come to days you realize  how much I ever missed and love you right now when you still alone some day in next years.  Because Our love is so expired.

We both just dont deserve to each other,  but we both should not deny everything that happened, and everything that we owned to each other.
It is not that tragic, it is just life being fair to us and keeps going on.
I should thank you, for being always there for me, especially when you always teaching me how to learn math and  how to be patient.
And you should thank me, for being always there for you, especially when you always hungry and dont have any place to go to.

We just do not destinied together. You are not belonged to me, and I dont belonged to you. Me, in this past week, is not me the one who still want you as my man. This just a fear of loneliness and irrationality of mine facing the world alone for some time, while actually life must keep going on. 
There's nothing wrong for being single for some of the time.
There is nothing wrong for being chasing and hunting new one over again
There is nothing wrong for not being the girl whose your number one priority
And there is nothing wrong for you not being my mister right one
There is nothing wrong when you saying giving up on me, giving up on us.
It is me the one who wrong for not accepting that.

One day, I believe,there is someone out there who deserve me better than you do.
Deserve my affection
Deserve my offer as number one man in my heart
Deserve my words when I say "I cherrish you from a bottom of my heart"
Deserve my obsession
Deserve my watching movies in cinemas in weekdays
Deserve my hobby trying new  food in the town
And deserve my intimidating way of speaking

And so do you, there is someone out there fits you the most.
Fits your finance 
Fits your passion in ninjutsu
Fits your lack of friends
Fits your the standard beauty of yours
Fits your taste of foods,
Fits your priority in wasting money
Fits your lack of trustness 

I realize, it is not me the one to blame, but it is us for not meeting each other demand. We are just not that match. And you are so right for ending it at the first time. And I am not feeling regret or sorry or dissapointed for what happend to us. I cherrish everythings we had shared,our dirty secret and I enjoyed every time we had. And I can not blame you,or me or other girl or god for you not wanting me no more. 

Just know that thing, just remember when you feels alone and remembering us, it is not me the one who walk away, the one who quit, it is you not even me. I have tried my best to reach you until today. Being dumped and unwanted is hurts that much no :')  But for loving you and keep my best and as hard as I can do for making you stay? It's nothing but fine. Because I learned, one thing :

If you could love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you could love the right one.

Kalo ama lo aja gue udah bisa sesayang ini no, apalagi ke calon suami gue yang beneran di masa depan :')

Thanks for being the wrong man in my life :)
Thanks for the journey. I am letting you go now. I will never asking you back like yesterday,like that night, and yes of course,  we will never ever getting back together ever since this.

No longer yours, Ajetjet 

The one who *finally* ready to move


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