#48 Describe a prize that you received

 

What is was

When you received it

What did you do for it

And explain how you felt about it

Well, I believe that there were several competitions that I won during my formative years in schools. Here, I would like to share my experience when I won a writing competition that held by a company in my hometown.

00:25

So, actually this competition held by this company in 2012. At that time, I was on the first grade of my high school. So, my teacher encouraged me to join this competition because she thought that my writing was quite good. So, at the first time I didn't think that writing was my cup of tea. However, because my teacher was very confident of me winning this competition. So I thought, why not?

01:11

And, it turned out I won the first prize in this competition. I could vividly remember that I wrote a short essay about environment because the topic of this competition was about environment effects from mining activities in my hometown. I could say that I was very proud of winning this competition because it was the first time that I won writing competition. I was on cloud nine because my parents were also very proud of me and they talked about this prize to my relatives and also my neighbors !

My self correction :

1. "environment effects' maunya lebih ke environmental effects. Berdasarkan kamus Cambridge : environmental (adjective) : relating to the environment | People are becoming far more aware of environmental issues.
   
2. "about environmental effects from mining activities". Preposisi yang lebih tepat seharusnya adalah 'of', sehingga menjadi 'environmental effects of mining activities'
   
3. "during my formative years in schools." Kata benda school disini seharusnya tidak perlu jamak sehingga tidak membutuhkan 'ekstra huruf s'
   
4. "a writing competition that held by a company in my hometown"HARUS NYA PASSIVE VOICE :'''') karena kan artiannya adalah "kompetisi menulis yang diselenggarakan oleh"
   
5. "this competition held by this company in 2012". Ini juga harusnya passive voice ya sehingga menjadi "this competition was held by this company in 2012"
   
6. "I was on the first grade " Untuk kata grade seharusnya menggunakan preposisi 'in' yaaa
   
7. "first grade of my high school".Lagi dan lagi ni kesalahannya selalu berulang. Seharusnya adalah tanpa posesive pronoun 'my'
   
8. "a short essay about environment" Harusnya ditambahkan artikel indefinitif 'the'
   
9. "that I won writing competition." ini juga harusnya ditambahkan artikel indefinitif 'a' menjadi "The first time that I won a writing competition"